I surrender dear.

So hate it when this feeling crops up again.


I hate when people start asking about IT.

I hate when I start asking myself about IT.

I hate playing quizzes about IT.

But I love watching the movie "IT"!! (sial lawak tak kene)


"Mat, awek sehat?" Fuck. Do we actually have to be stuck with someone all the time? Is there any commandment saying so?

"Takde awek la bro..." Fuck. Is it so incomprehensible? So out of the ordinary that they just can't believe it and bugs you for more information on something that does not even exist in the first place?


So hate it when this feeling crops up again.



Venus is so hard to understand. So Math Higher Level. Wish I have telepathy sometimes, you know? Then it would not be as hard as this.

They give you hints, but they never go straight forward with it. When you try approaching them and ask them directly, they say, Nay!

Then they'll give you more hints. And you approach them and they say Nay!

Over and over again.


This courtship thing is hard work man! Fuck. Hate this. Things get worse when they start giving you mixed signals that confounds you, until the only thing you can do is loomed in the little dark corner of your room, trying to put together all the effing signals and hints until you go berserk!


Then there's this 'matchmaker curse'. Realise that matchmakers are the one who would find it hard to match make themselves? Didn't believe it at first...but two years of nothing...that'll drag you to believe even the most nonsensical thing.

Been with three. All three almost lead me to total insanity. Trying for the fourth, but I guess retreat is more worth it. Fuck. This is draining the life from me. Not going to waste it.



So hate it when this feeling crops up again.





*Currently in a relationship with myself.